We are in the heart of bye week hell. Bears, Titans, Colts, Chargers, Ravens, and Texans were all off this week. This led to some surprising performances. Find out who did what. On to the games…






Cowboys 30 @ Lions 31

On this weekend’s episode of Transformers, Megatron DOMINATES the Autobots. It’s kind of cool that Megatron plays in Detroit, the city of automobiles. Last week, Megatron trumped AJ Green. This week, there was debate between Megatron vs Dez. Really? C’MON MAN!!! How’s 14 rec 329 yds 1 td sound? 8 yards off the single game record. Dez had 3 rec 72 yds 2 tds and a couple of rants on the sideline that made him look like a b-i-a-t… can finish the rest. Megatron’s sidekick, Matthew Stafford, ended 33/48 488 yds 1 td 2 ints. He also chipped in 3 carries 12 yds 1 td on the ground. Bush had a great game too but was lost in the ridiculousness of Megatron’s antics (21 carries 92 yds 1 td with 8 rec for 30 yds). Romo ended up with 3 tds but had a pretty awful game (14/30 206 yds). No receiver had more than 3 catches. Williams caught a td on 2 for 64. Witten only caught 2 for 15. DeMarco Murray was a surprising scratch from this game. Randle filled in again with 14 carries for 26 yds with 3 rec for 18.



Packers 44 @ Vikings 31

Lots of garbage and garbage time points in this one. The Pack thoroughly dominated their division foe. The D held the Vikings to 243 yds of total offense…and it could’ve been under 200. Discount Double Checker was 24/29 285 yds 2 tds. Nelson caught 7 for 123 and 2 tds. Boykin caught 5 for 89. Lacy was a hammer running the ball a whopping 29 times for 94 yds and a td. The fans got something to cheer about on the first play of the game when Cordarrelle Patterson ran back a kick 109 yds. Then it was back to eating hotdogs and drinking Coke. Ponder was back at qb and finished 14/21 145 yds. If you could combine Ponder, Cassell, and Freeman into one, the end product would be a big pile of poo. Unfortunately the quarterback position requires one to throw the ball. That’s why the decision to go with Ponder was an easy one. At least he knows how to run. He ran 5 times for 38 yds and a td. Rudolph led the receivers with 4 for 51. Jennings caught 1 ball. All Day carried 13 times for 60 yds with a td. Since the qbs can’t throw in Minnesota, just give it to All Day everytime. Even if they are behind, just feed him. At least give the fans something to watch and give the offense a chance to score. If not, just punt on 1st down then.



Steelers 18 @ Raiders 21

The future is now in Oaktown!!! Terrelle Pryor led the Raiders to another victory. Give credit to GM Reggie McKenzie for purging all those terrible contracts and filling in with serviceable players. They are going to have a ton of cap space next year so, if they keep drafting well, this Raiders team is going to be very competitive in the now strong AFC West. The AFC West reminds me of the NFC West a few years ago. Once the laughingstock of the league, where they had a sub-.500 division champion, to the division where they are considered one of the most physical and toughest divisions in the league. Pryor got the Black Hole jumping on the first play, where he ran for a record 93 yard touchdown. TP finished the day 10/19 88 yards 2 ints but with 9 carries for 106 and that td. Run DMC carried 24 times for 73 yds and 2 tds. I’m pretty sure if you looked in the sky you would have seen pigs flying. Streater was the leading receiver with 4 rec for 45 yds. For the Steelers, Big Ben was 29/45 275 yds 1 td 2 ints. Brown was the ppr hog with 9 for 82 while Sanders caught the td on 7 for 88. Miller was held to 3 for 19. Bell was shut down on 13 carries for 24 yds but did manage to score a td. Impressive performance by the Raiders D-5 sacks and 2 ints. The Raiders have not lost to the Steelers at the Coliseum since 1995. THE BLACK HOLE LIVES!!!!



Redskins 21 @ Broncos 45

This game was tied 7-7 at halftime. Then the madness started. The Redskins forced a fumble by Manning and cashed that in with an Alf td. On the next possession, Deangelo Hall intercepted Manning when Thomas slipped down and took it back to the house. Redskins 21 Broncos 7. That only got Manning angry as the Broncos scored 38 unanswered points. Halloween came a little early because that was indeed some scary stuff…for Broncos opponents. Manning ended 30/44 354 yds 4 tds 3 ints. He has 29 tds and 6 ints on the season. Insane. Thomas caught 7 for 75 with a td. Welker 6 for 81 td. Decker took the day off with 4 for 42. Orange Julius only had 3 for 29 due to leaving the game with an apparent ankle injury. Moreno caught 6 for 89 with a td. He also ran 14 times for 44 yds. Ball was the backup with 11 for 37 and a td. CJ Anderson made his pro debut with 4 for 22. He is someone to keep an eye on. For the Redskins, RG3 was 15/30 132 yds 1 td 2 ints. He only ran 5 times for 7 yds. The Broncos D harassed and hit RG3 all day. Woodyard and Trevethan are fast linebackers and have proven to be able to handle the running quarterback. Reed was the leading receiver with 8 for 90. The Waiter caught 7 for 46 with a spectacular one handed grab. Da da da. You will see it on Sportscenter. Alf led the run game with 17 carries for 93 yds and a td. They ran the ball effectively all day but had to abandon it when they fell behind. Helu predictably regressed back with 5 carries for 11 yds and only 1 catch for 14. Both defenses had a pick 6. Skins D had 2 sacks and 3 ints while the Broncos D had 3 sacks and 4 ints. One better in both categories which also translated to the win column.



Falcons 13 @ Cardinals 27

Now Matty Ice knows how Tom Brady feels. You lose your top weapons and it makes the game so much more difficult. The Cardinals D was expected to dominate at home and they sure did. They had 4 sacks and 4 ints. They held the Falcons run game to 27 yds and forced Ryan to pass 61 times. Due to the defensive help, Palmer was able to be a game manager but still threw an int. 13/18 173 yds 2 tds 1 int. Fitz was the leading receiver catching 4 for 48 and a td. Floyd caught the other td on 3 for 30. Ellington broke out and carried 15 times for 154 yds with an 80 yd td. Choo choo!!! Taylor was his backup carrying 14 for 38. Stick a fork in the Falcons. Their defense can not generate pressure and their offense is missing too many pieces. The offensive line is also offensive and cannot give Ryan enough time. Ryan ended 34/61 301 yds 1 td 4 ints. Douglas had another monster game with 12 rec for 121 yds. I’m officially impressed after this performance. I was hesitant to back him after the Bucs game because of the amount of zone defense he saw. Teams continue to take Tony G out of the game (3 rec 26 yds). Sjax returned from injury to contribute 11 carries for 6 yds with 3 rec for 7. Thanks for playing. Rodgers carried 2 for 8 with 2 rec for 11.



Browns 17 @ Chiefs 23

The story of this game should be that the Chiefs improved to 8-0. Instead, it was the play of Jason Campbell. He was very effective with 22/36 293 yds 2 tds. This was the second week in a row that the Chiefs D had to face a backup quarterback with no videotape to analyze. The league leading defense was only able to muster 1 sack with 1 fumble recovery. We will see how Campbell performs in the future but he was pretty impressive in this game. This bodes well for the prospects of Gordon and Cameron. Gordon caught 5 for 132 with a td. Cameron caught 4 for 81. Fozzy Whittaker caught the other td on 2 for 22. Alex Smith dink and dunked his way to 24/36 225 yds with 2 tds. McCluster led the receivers with 7 rec for 67 yds and a td. The Bowe nightmare continues. He caught 1 ball for 7 yds. Charles had another great day with 18 carries for 74 yds with 5 rec for 46 but no td. KC 8-0. Can’t wait for that Broncos game.



Dolphins 17 @ Patriots 27

Dolphins led 17-3 at halftime and thoroughly dominated this game up to that point. Tom Brady looked terrible and a member of the Patriots broadcast crew even intimated that if they go down 24-7 then Mallett should enter the game. Good thing a game is 60 minutes long. Brady ended 13/22 116 yds 1 td 1 int. Dobson was the leading receiver with 4 rec for 60 yds 1 td. Gronk was held to 2 for 27. Amendola returned and had 3 for 15. Ridley entered back into the fray and contributed with 14 rushes for 79 yds and a td. Pats D had 6 sacks, 2 ints, and 1 fum rec. Tannehill was 22/42 192 yds 2 tds 2 ints. The offensive line for the Dolphins continues to leak pressure and is not giving Thill enough time. Gibson caught an early td but then had to leave the game with a knee injury. His season may be done. Thomas caught the other td. Clay had the most receptions with 5 for 37. 60 Minutes caught 3 for 41. Miller was effective in the run game with 18 carries for 89 yds but they inexplicably went away from it. They chose to pass, pass, pass. Interesting strategy when the run game was effective and the offensive line has trouble pass blocking. Any wonder why they’ve lost 4 games in a row?



Bills 17 @ Saints 35

Welcome back from the bye. Or is it welcome back from the Bayou? Either way, welcome back. Brees was 26/34 332 yds 5 tds. He was probably playing Madden all week and was just itching to get back onto the field. In typical Brees fashion, no receiver had more than 3 receptions but there were 6 that had 3. Stills broke out with 129 yds and 2 tds. Graham ended up playing in the game and ended with 37 yds and 2 tds. Colston is still slumping with only 18 yds. Sproles only had 4 rec for 0 yds and no rushes. PT Cruiser led the run game with 15 carries for 65 yds. The Bills really had no chance in this game. Lewis was 22/39 234 yds 1 td 1 int. He was knocked out of the game early but was able to come back in. Stevie Johnson and Chandler both caught 7 for 72 with Stevie catching the td. CJ Spiller was inactive. Hallelujahs from all his owners. They could bench him with no remorse. Fjax carried 15 times for 45 yds and a td. The Saints D had another great game-4 sacks, 2 fum rec, and 1 int.



Giants 15 @ Eagles 7

G-Men are getting hot!!! NOT!!! But they have won 2 in a row. This was an ugly game. It didn’t help that Vick got knocked out after reaggravating his hammy. He was 6/9 30 yds 1 int before he left. Enter Barkley. 17/26 158 yds 1 int. Some guys just catch touchdowns. Barkley just throws interceptions. Djax led the receivers with 8 rec for 63 yds. Shady carried 15 for 48. Eli was 25/39 246 yds 0 tds 0 ints. A win and he doesn’t throw an int. I’m looking out my window right now to see if there are indeed pigs flying. Cruz got a scare with a neck injury but he was able to come back and ended with 7 rec for 86 yds. Nicks caught 7 for 51. Randle had a bagel. Hillis carried 20 times for 70 yds. With the Giants bye coming up, Andre Brown is due to come back. I’m curious to see which runningback is cut.



49ers 42 @ Jaguars 10

Another game in London. With the gazillions that the league makes, why don’t they buy up those old Concord jets? It would make the travel to jolly ole England a little better. If London does indeed get a team, will the hooligans travel to the states when they play? I ask these silly questions because there is not much to talk about in this game. 49ers good. Jags bad. Kaep was 10/16 164 yds 1 td. He finally had a big game on the ground with 7 carries for 54 yds and 2 tds. The Inconvenient Truth carried 19 times for 71 yds and 2 tds. Boldin caught 4 for 56. Davis caught 3 for 52 and the lone td. Henne led the Jags with 29/45 228 yds 1 td. Shorts caught 7 for 74. Blackmon 4 for 31 and Brown 3 for 43 with the td. MJD had a decent day against a good d with 19 carries for 75 yds with 6 rec for 47.



Jets 9 @ Bengals 49

Let down game for the Jets after beating the Pats? Geno being on the road? Is Brady really bad? I’m trying to figure out how Rex Ryan let his D get burned by Dalton for 5 tds (19/30 325 yds 5 tds 1 int). Andy Dalton….hmmmm. AJ Green dominated like Megatron right? Well, he did catch 3 for 115 but it was the Marvin Jones show (8 rec 122 yds 4 tds). What the freak???!!! With all the teams on bye, I’m sure there were some that started him. Congrats to you guys. Must be nice. The Law Firm led the run game with 11 carries for 33 yds. Gio ran 5 for 18 with 1 catch for 9. The Cincy D had 4 sacks and 2 pick 6’s. Geno Smith was 20/30 159 yds 2 ints. Rookie. Mark Sanchez could’ve done that. Nelson caught 8 for 80. Kerley 3 for 27. Cumberland only caught 1 for 9. Because they were in catch up mode all day, Ivory only had 6 carries for 11 yds. Powell had 10 carries for 19 and chipped in 4 rec for 20.

Have a Happy Halloween. Do not give candy to those kids that don’t even make an effort to dress up. Seriously. What the hell is that? Do not be an enabler. Thank you. See you all next week.


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